Monkey Dust

Feb 3, 2003

Lord Byron helps the fire brigade think up a new slogan; Jerry Bruckhammer's movie adaption of the diary of Anne Frank; Ivan Dobsky is released from prison and meets up with an old lady - with fatal results.

Feb 10, 2003

An advertisement firm helps the church change its image with the help of lord Byron; The yuppies discuss the WW2 bomb they have in their home; Geoff gets arrested for lewd behavior in a local toilet.

Feb 17, 2003

Hugh Grant meets Julia Roberts in a fictional area of London called Curtisland; The yuppies play a game of Russian roulette; Ivan Dobsky murders social commentator Stuart Maconie to get back into prison.

Feb 24, 2003

Ivan Dobsky is released from prison and meets up with a fellow released prisoner called the canal killer; The yuppies discuss football; David Badiel is invited to go into space by NASA.

Mar 3, 2003

Singer Robbie Williams agrees to go to Brazil as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF; Ivan Dobsky is released from prison and thinks he is back in the 1970s; David Baddiel becomes a England football player.

Mar 10, 2003

DJ Dr Fox gets tortured; A police negotiator receives a awkward phone call; Ivan Dobsky has his precious space hopper Mr Hoppy taken from him and replaced by a skateboard.

Nov 4, 2003

The Controller creates a new reality TV show; Peadofinder - General crashes a game show; Jerry Bruckhammer's movie adaption of the Crusades.

Nov 11, 2003

Geoff goes to Brazil for the annual gay Mardi Gras; A TV show tries to prove Ivan Dobsky's innocence.

Nov 18, 2003

The Controller holds a lavish party; Lord Byron tries to think up a farewell message for a colleague; Geoff finally meets a partner; Ivan Dobsky gets married to an obsessed fan.

Nov 25, 2003

The Controller lectures about the dangers of truth; The yuppies discuss swinging; A career councilor discusses job opportunities at Lower Hill comprehensive school.

Dec 2, 2003

A gambling addict pawns his daughter's possessions; The CIA close in on the Khans; An actor complains about a pretentious French film; The yuppies discuss holidaying in France.

Dec 9, 2003

The yuppies discuss cannibalism; A man takes his wife to a restaurant for there anniversary; A gambling addict gets help from ex-footballer Tony Adams; The khans prepare for a suicide bombing.

Jan 4, 2005

The Paedofinder-General crashes a school disco; Omar, Abdul and Shafiq threaten their local council; and Brad Pitt stars as Ivan Dobsky in a Hollywood biopic.

Jan 11, 2005

Omar, Abdul and Shafiq plan a celebrity assassination; the Paedofinder-General gatecrashes a school nativity play; and Ivan Dobsky is released for Christmas – with fatal consequences.

Jan 18, 2005

Bono and Nelson Mandela campaign for Ivan Dobsky's release; celebrity mum Fran Chappell cuts a single; and a top international terrorist arrives in West Bromwich to train Omar, Abdul and Shafiq.

Jan 25, 2005

The Paedofinder-General goes to the seaside; MI5 begin a surveillance operation in West Bromwich; and celebrity mum Fran Chappell has a nasty shock.

Feb 1, 2005

Abdul and Shafiq go to Iraq; the Yuppies move to the country; and the Paedofinder-General gets a job processing family photos in Snippy-Snaps.

Feb 8, 2005

The Paedofinder-General officiates at a wedding; the police raid the Khans' house; and Noodles the rabbit gets his revenge.