Ramy

Apr 19, 2019

You know why you’re so confused all the time? You don’t wash between your toes. It’s that simple.

Apr 19, 2019

You dropped out of med school to do what? Dude, the app is called “Snack Swipe.” That shit‘s never gonna work. Just go work for your Uncle… let him teach you how to be man.

Apr 19, 2019

So let me get this straight— you don’t do drugs, but you’ll have sex with women you’re not married to…? That’s not nuanced, you’re a hypocrite.

Apr 19, 2019

Everyone’s suspicious, man. Maybe your family was in on it, maybe not. Just lay low, and don’t draw attention to yourself. It’ll all die down… maybe. Also, where are all your Mom’s magazines?

Apr 19, 2019

Time for a spiritual cleanse. Get this month right, and you’ll have it all figured out. Fast properly, read your Quran, no sex, no porn… bro, close the MacBook! No porn. Just do the Ramadan. Get your life on track.

Apr 19, 2019

So you’re doing all this soul searching… dope. What about your sister? Can she? Yeah? How can she find herself if she’s gotta be home by ten? What do you think she– Ramy, where are you going?

Apr 19, 2019

Ramy, habibi, it’s Mom. Why don’t you call back? You don’t text, you don’t answer, you don’t even check this voicemail… astaghfirullah… call me. I just want to know you are ok. I made Koshary. Ok, bye.

Apr 19, 2019

You need to start getting right with Allah. All you do is focus on yourself… you’re so selfish… And no, not just because he’s in a wheelchair.

Apr 19, 2019

ramy min amreeka! iz3yak ya bro! 3amel eh ya 7obby? wa7eshni awi ya brence, wallahi. so pumped ur coming bro. haven’t seen u since u were 8!! a5bar new york we el 3’orba eh ya basha?? and enta landing when? tell me all the flight infozzz, i’ll be there – whatsapp me habibi.

Apr 19, 2019

Give in, Ramy. Surrender. Stop overthinking things. Sure, it’s a bit unconventional, but you gotta follow your heart. No matter where it leads. Who knows, you might even find some happiness. Inshallah.

May 29, 2020

Bro…You want real love? commit to the right person. take the bay’ah.

May 29, 2020

Hey i’m starting to think those guys at Verizon had a point.

May 29, 2020

He told you about little Omar! stop acting like you didn’t know! now you gotta explain this dog to your parents?? it’s haraam. you’re just… haraam!

May 29, 2020

You dress like a skateboarder… but you don’t know how to skateboard?

May 29, 2020

the shower keeps getting clogged. my feet are just sitting in a puddle of my sweaty body water... You ever feel that? Like, you took a shower, but you feel like you still gotta wash your feet?

May 29, 2020

Pray two rakat for Ruther Bader Ginsburg.

May 29, 2020

do not go to a magic show. david blaine is straight up jinn.

May 29, 2020

masr um el dunya… and it always will be. but america is what I need right now. you’ll see, baba. inshallah.

May 29, 2020

Yes. Mexicans can go to heaven.

May 29, 2020

can we just pray together?

Sep 30, 2022

are you watching horse porn?

Sep 30, 2022

ramy, ramy, ramy, harami!

Sep 30, 2022

egypt will be just like america.

Sep 30, 2022

the prayer mat is not for sale.

Sep 30, 2022

i don't care about your halal/haraam ratio.

Sep 30, 2022

the whole village cries.

Sep 30, 2022

emotional labor.

Sep 30, 2022

praying. be back soon.

Sep 30, 2022

austin powers is classic cinema.

Sep 30, 2022