

The Detectives
The absurd adventures of two defective detectives, who - despite unbelievable incompetence - somehow manage to solve their cases (or be nearby when the cases are solved) and retain their jobs.
Cast

Robert Powell
Dave Briggs

George Sewell
Superintendent Cottam

Jasper Carrott
Bob Louis
Seasons

E1What The Butler Saw
Jan 27, 1993
When the Earl of Lisson is murdered, Briggs and Louis try to discover ""who dunnit"".

E2Hostage
Feb 3, 1993
A fanatical murderer has escaped from prison and Superintendent Cottam orders Briggs and Louis to catch him but the two detectives would rather be watching the F.A. Cup Final.

E3Teed Off
Feb 10, 1993
Johnny McKenna is an arms dealer and a keen golfer. Briggs and Louis have to get evidence of his illegal activities.

E4Acting Constables
Feb 17, 1993
Briggs and Louis are assigned to act as advisors for a TV police drama.

E5Studs
Feb 24, 1993
Briggs and Louis find themselves on an assignment in Jersey. It isn't long before they get on the wrong side of Jim Bergerac.

E6Strangers In Paradise
Mar 3, 1993
Gangster Tony Mazola has been murdered. Superintendent Cottam thinks that gang warfare may be about to start. He sends Briggs and Louis on an undercover assignment to the Paradise Club in the East End of London.

E1Collared
Mar 2, 1994
Suspended after an unfortunate incident involving a suspected bomb in a briefcase, Briggs and Louis decide to gain favour by nicking some serious East End villains.

E2Witness
Mar 9, 1994
Two tough detectives are required to go undercover at a monastery. Unable to find any, the Super employs Briggs and Louis.

E3Never Without Protection
Mar 16, 1994
A Duchess keeps appearing in the tabloids canoodling withher police bodyguards. What the Super needs are two completely unappealing detectives...

E4Dutch Cops
Mar 23, 1994
On Customs and Excise duty, Briggs and Louis find themselves trapped in the back of a pilchard lorry - with a large quantity of diamonds.

E5Sparring Partners
Mar 30, 1994
Briggs and Louis masquerade as the manager and trainer of a boxer as they investigate a steroid that promotes raw aggression - and enhances sexual prowess.

E6Rear Window
Apr 6, 1994
Louis witnesses a brutal crime of passion while confined to a wheelchair, but has trouble convincing Briggs that it wasn't all in his mind.
E1D.C. Of Love
Jan 9, 1995
As a lonely and meaningless retirement beckons after 25 years on the force, the boys are given the task of finding 'The Black Widow' after a series of gruesome lonely hearts murders.
E2Flash
Jan 16, 1995
After mixing their drinks at the policemen's ball, Louis and Briggs confront a new horror involving a flasher, a Marquess and the commissioner's wife.
E3Art Attack
Jan 23, 1995
When forced to transfer into the Fine Arts Squad, our heroes are despatched to recover the latest artistic creation of 'enfant terrible' Hadyn Smailes - a pair of maracas, a tin of peaches and a fish tank of the artist's own urine.
E4On Thin Ice
Jan 30, 1995
When Briggs and Louis investigate an attack on a top figure skater, the pair wind up on ice but fail to gain marks for artistic interpretation.

E5Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Feb 6, 1995
After 30 years of watching and waiting, Superintendent Cottam ropes the boys into helping him catch notorious bullion thief, Ronnie Richardson.

E6Twitchers
Feb 13, 1995
Briggs and Louis are assigned a case protecting the eggs of a newly-discovered breeding pair of red kites. Teir lack of enthusiasm soon turns to panic as the eggs are stolen.

E1The Great Escaper
Feb 15, 1996
Louis and Briggs are cuffed to a notoriously slippery customer as they escort him to his latest prison by train. So how do they end up crossing the Yorkshire moors carrying a toilet door?

E2Fur Coat, No Knickers
Feb 15, 1996
Louis and Briggs are called in to investigate a murder that has taken place during the re-creation of a medieval battle scene. However they are more concerned with the police football quiz.

E3Back To Class
Feb 29, 1996
After Briggs and Louis manage to murder the last female white-flippered turtle on the planet, they are only too pleased to investigate a drug scandal at an exclusive girls school.

E4Sacked
Mar 7, 1996
Briggs and Louis mistake the new Superintendent for a stripper at Cattams farewell party.
E5The Wembley Stadium Mystery
Mar 14, 1996
Although Louis and Briggs have been assigned to a security operation at Wembley Stadium, they have their minds on winning the police table football tournament.

E1Special Branch
Jan 14, 1997
The Superintendent selects the duo for a particularly sensitive assignment. His granddaughter has become involved in an anti-road protest and he needs Louis and Briggs to 'rescue' her.

E2Cardiac Arrest
Jan 21, 1997
When a gang member is shot during a getaway, Briggs and Louis are dispatched to the hospital. But with so many sick people, doctors and nurses around, Louis' hypochondria knows no bounds...

E3The Beast Of Hackney Marshes
Jan 28, 1997
A night patrolling the marshes, on the lookout for an escaped bear, is really not what our heroes had in mind - particularly when their umbrella act for the Super's variety show is really coming together.

E4The Curse Of The Comanches
Feb 4, 1997
When Briggs and Louis, helped by a mysterious Commanch Chief, go on the hunt for a sacred Indian carving, they soon find themselves on the trail of tragedy, death and disaster...

E5Best Man
Feb 11, 1997
Much to his and everybody else's astonishment, Briggs is chosen to be best man at a colleague's wedding. When he discovers just who the bride's father is, Briggs isn't exactly keen either...

E6Mine's A Large One
Feb 18, 1997
Briggs and Louis have found their true vocation - the river police. With peace, quiet and the total absence of any type of crime, it seems like paradise. Then the boat runs into an unexploded WWII river mine...
Storyline
The absurd adventures of two defective detectives, who - despite unbelievable incompetence - somehow manage to solve their cases (or be nearby when the cases are solved) and retain their jobs.
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